Archive | May, 2013

Hints He isn’t “The One”

26 May

So you’ve just started dating, and he seems great. He’s putting his best foot forward because you just met, but don’t let him trying to impress you blind you from the truth. Keep an eye out for these red flags, because if he’s guilty of them in the beginning, it’s only going to get worse sister.

 

Unemployed

“It’s a tough economy,” “I’m holding out for my dream job,” whatever the excuse, eventually you gotta bite the bullet and get a damn job. So here’s the rule: 25+ and he should have a job (even better, a big boy job, not making lattes at Starbucks). If you’re younger than him you might think it’s cool at first because he can hang out all the time; it’s not, it’s pathetic. If he seems to lack direction and can’t commit to a regular job, good luck getting him to commit to you.

 

Rude

Basic manners are essential. If you never hear him utter please or thank you to strangers, he’s inconsiderate. If he treats waiters like they aren’t human beings, he’s a dick. If he doesn’t treat his parents with respect, he’s just an asshole. Any of these (and other rude behavior) are deal breakers. I don’t care if he treats you like a princess, he will eventually start treating you like everyone else, which is shitty (so don’t waste your time).

 

Bad Hygiene

It’s one thing to be not so fresh after a loaf of garlic bread, it’s another if you feel like you’re constantly kissing an armpit. A lack of basic hygiene (like brushing your teeth) does not bode well. If he can’t take care of himself, you don’t want to be the one who has to do it. It’s not that hard to brush your teeth or take a shower, like it’s a minimal time commitment. Bad hygiene is the expiration date on your relationship.

 

These are just the bare minimum basics, feel free to be much pickier (you deserve it).

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16 Wildly Successful People Who Majored in English – Yahoo! Finance

18 May

To all those people who called my major worthless (and every time I may have thought it myself) here’s proof that you can be successful and be an English major:

16 Wildly Successful People Who Majored in English – Yahoo! Finance.

Now I just need to figure out how to get my name on this list…

When Technology Bites You in the Ass

15 May

I love technology. I’m a total twenty-first century girl: I feel naked without my cell phone, I incessantly check Facebook, and I tweet every time I think of something remotely clever. But with love comes dependence, and with dependence comes a paralyzing inability to function without the technological advances to which we have become accustomed. And here lies the problem. What happens when technology turns on you? Cause it will, one way or another. Whether it’s the power going out or your key card door malfunctioning and locking you out while you are taking out the trash, leaving you inappropriately dressed in the freezing cold without your keys, phone, money or anything useful, all while your stove is on (not like that’s happened to me). So it got me thinking, as technology increases, what are we losing? Here are a few ways our dependence on technology is crippling us:

  •  We’re helpless

Case in point: We no longer memorize phone numbers. So when we lose our phones or they run out of battery (and it isn’t exactly a 911 emergency) our inclination is to assume the fetal position and wait for it all to end.

  • We’re beyond impatient.

If something doesn’t happen within a tenth of a nanosecond people get their panties all in a bunch. We have become so accustomed to instant gratification that anything less is unacceptable. Patience may be a virtue but now is wow!

  •  We’re getting stupider

Sometimes I think that without Google we would have the collective knowledge of a goldfish. But I mean when Kim Kardashian’s ass is growing a mile a minute who has time to pick up a book and learn something?

  •  We’re insatiable

“We want more, we want more, like we really like it, we want more.” Wiser words have never been said; someone get that girl a Nobel Prize (or at least a juice box or something).

I will admit I am as guilty as the next girl. So let’s try to remember that we have brains that worked just fine for thousands of years before Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. If not, when the computer’s fail and the lights go out, at least we’ll all go up in flames together.

The 13 Creepiest Things A Child Has Ever Said To A Parent

12 May

As a tribute to Mother’s Day, I give you “The 13 Creepiest Things A Child Has Ever Said To A Parent,” cause let’s face it, kids are weird. Thanks to all those Mom’s out there that have put up with our weirdness and love us for it (or in spite of it).

The 13 Creepiest Things A Child Has Ever Said To A Parent.

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