Tag Archives: Dating

Hints He isn’t “The One”

26 May

So you’ve just started dating, and he seems great. He’s putting his best foot forward because you just met, but don’t let him trying to impress you blind you from the truth. Keep an eye out for these red flags, because if he’s guilty of them in the beginning, it’s only going to get worse sister.



“It’s a tough economy,” “I’m holding out for my dream job,” whatever the excuse, eventually you gotta bite the bullet and get a damn job. So here’s the rule: 25+ and he should have a job (even better, a big boy job, not making lattes at Starbucks). If you’re younger than him you might think it’s cool at first because he can hang out all the time; it’s not, it’s pathetic. If he seems to lack direction and can’t commit to a regular job, good luck getting him to commit to you.



Basic manners are essential. If you never hear him utter please or thank you to strangers, he’s inconsiderate. If he treats waiters like they aren’t human beings, he’s a dick. If he doesn’t treat his parents with respect, he’s just an asshole. Any of these (and other rude behavior) are deal breakers. I don’t care if he treats you like a princess, he will eventually start treating you like everyone else, which is shitty (so don’t waste your time).


Bad Hygiene

It’s one thing to be not so fresh after a loaf of garlic bread, it’s another if you feel like you’re constantly kissing an armpit. A lack of basic hygiene (like brushing your teeth) does not bode well. If he can’t take care of himself, you don’t want to be the one who has to do it. It’s not that hard to brush your teeth or take a shower, like it’s a minimal time commitment. Bad hygiene is the expiration date on your relationship.


These are just the bare minimum basics, feel free to be much pickier (you deserve it).

Unusual Attraction: The Ugly Sexy Paradox

24 Mar

Channing Tatum, Bradley Cooper, Ryan Gosling (oh how I could go on) are some of the most undeniably attractive men in Hollywood. Women around the world swoon at the mere mention of these names. But, have you ever found yourself unexplainably attracted to someone who is, um, not so pretty (or even objectively ugly)? This is what I like to call the Ugly Sexy Paradox. Now, admittedly, attraction is not a purely physical reaction. But in fantastical situations (like the crushes we have on celebrities or their characters) you would think that the objectively hot would reign (a la Ian Somerhalder). But recently I have noticed myself drawn to some of these less attractive (yet ultimately sexy) men in Hollywood.

For example, my latest Ugly Sexy crush is Jeremy Allen White aka Lip on Shameless. Now if I saw him walking down the street, I don’t know that I would notice him (heck, I might even think he was unattractive). But there is something about his character that just draws me to him (I have support on this from some of my other Shameless fanatic friends). So how can someone seemingly unattractive (or average) be so down right sexy? And last time I checked, drug dealers, cheaters, and scam artists (all traits of Lip’s character) weren’t on the top of anybody’s list either. So what exactly is redeeming about him? Well, he’s freakishly smart, extremely loyal, and is vulnerable (even if it is to a sociopath like Karen). So I guess personality can win out over all else (who knew). But I think I have to argue for intangibles here as well. Sexy is just something you have, it’s a way of carrying yourself, a certain confidence that you have or you don’t, and Jeremy Allen White just has it in spades.

Jake Johnson aka Nick on New Girl is another culprit of the Ugly Sexy Paradox (although I would not deem him ugly, merely average). His character Nick has questionable hygiene, no real ambition, and is usually downright awkward (the panic moonwalk anybody?). But, again, there is something attractive, something sexy about him that makes you want to spend a day in Jess’s shoes.


On the other side of the coin is the most recent Bachelor, Sean Lowe. He is a very attractive man (over six foot with a six pack, HELLO). Sean is hot, but I do not find him sexy. Maybe it is the tabloid fodder about his regained virginity or his cringeworthy hip thrusts on Dancing with the Stars (sadly I tuned in). He has all the traits girls look for, he’s funny, caring, an all-around great guy, but he is just so…vanilla, and I guess I’m looking for something more rocky road.

So, who is your Ugly/Sexy crush? Do you agree that hot and sexy can be very different things? Guys, does this paradox happen to you too? Would you rather be considered hot or sexy?

Do or Don’t: Online Dating?

21 Mar

There are about a bajillion dating sites these days (I mean, really, check these weird ones out). But for all of us looking for the companionship of a normal (or at least socially acceptable and/or functional human being), I’m talking the major players like Match.com. At the ripe old age of 22, I will admit that I have been curious enough to sign up and even create a profile on Match (judge if you will). For my purposes, I have treated it a lot like online shopping, but for men, browsing by size or style. However, I have never taken it past the window shopping phase. I have never been willing (or desperate enough, depending on how you look at it) to pay to communicate with these possible suitors. But with an impending move to a new city where I will know next to no one, I am starting to seriously consider the switch from looker to buyer. There seems to be a lot of other new grads and young professionals using sites like Match to meet new people (or score a few free meals). I feel like online dating has become less taboo (and pathetic) and more acceptable (I mean you do know more about this guy than that creepy dude at the bar). So what do you think? Is online dating a do or don’t?


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