My Worst Personality Trait

So the other day, someone I follow on Twitter quoted a tweet from someone he follows and it popped up on my timeline. It said “Ladies and gentlemen, I have joined the 20th century and purchased an iPhone.” My head immediately wanted to explode. If you don’t know what part of that statement is heinously incorrect, please stop reading and brush up on your history (or just google “what century are we in?” and prepare to feel incredibly stupid). I mean, c’mon you should know what century you live in. It isn’t like it changes that often (every 100 years, I pray to god you all knew that though).

Now, unlike most normal, functioning human beings, I could not keep my indignation over this girl’s ignorance to myself. Now, keep in mind I AM NOT FRIENDS WITH THIS GIRL. I am pretty sure we have never spoken in person, making my response completely inappropriate, but oh so satisfying:

I just couldn’t help myself #droppingknowledge

Notice my deadpan response with a lack of hahas, lols, or emoticons (I don’t find her statement funny, my response though, I find hilarious). My lack of self-control combined with my intolerance for stupidity and my outrageous sense of humor will probably get me in trouble someday. I admit it. My name is Sierra, and I am a smart-ass (know-it-all, wise-ass, smart-aleck, they all apply). It is probably my worst personality trait.

Related articles

• Sagittarius woman personality traits and characteristics (nethdeapera.wordpress.com)

I also happen to be a Sagittarius, so I at least I can blame it all on cosmic alignment.

The Job Search: call it Purgatory, but it sure feels like Hell

I apologize for my hiatus, but I have spent the last couple of weeks in job search hell and the stress left me utterly uncreative in the blogging department. As a new grad, I have found job searching to be soul sucking. It makes you feel like you’re getting picked for dodgeball while competing in a beauty pageant when you happen to be the fat, uncoordinated kid with acne, braces, and a lisp (ok dramatic, but it SUCKS). After making it to the final round of multiple interviews just to get the old heave-ho at the end, I figured I would share (aka bitch about) the nightmarish process that is finding a job:

Step 1: The Black Hole

• Also known as the internet, this is where your resume goes to die. Its true, the online application truly has revolutionized the job search. It allows you to see the thousands of available jobs out there, while also solidly making sure none of them are within you’re reach (unless you are extremely overqualified, but my B.A. doesn’t stand for Burger Artist). It’s like going to the aquarium as a kid, all the cool shit is behind a thick piece of glass; sure you can see all the great whites and killer whales, but all you get to touch are the lame ass star fish in the tide pool. I will give internet applications this, at least it saves the countless trees that our unseen resumes would have wasted if they needed to be thrown in actual trashcans (environmental and efficient!).

Step 2: Leg Work

• Also known as networking, it is an essential part of the job search process (and the only part that I have found even remotely fruitful). You know how people say, “It’s all about who you know”? well it is, and who they know, and who they know, and who they know. After begging your boss’ husbands’ uncles’ goddaughter to take a teensy peak at your resume you’ll probably feel like the hooker on the street corner hawking her wares (work it gurl! but hey, they also say, “The ends justify the means”).

Step 3: The Goldilocks Complex

• If you are lucky enough to get an interview, it doesn’t get much better. HR people are goldilocks (aka fickle pricks) when it comes to choosing a person to fill a position. Whether you are too hot (overqualified) too cold (under qualified) or just right (can check off every last goddamn box on their check list) you still might not get the job cause that bitch likes her porridge with cinnamon. With the number of job seekers far outweighing the number of jobs, people aren’t willing to take chances on potential, they want you to be able to do the job already (and if you can do it while standing on your head, even better).

And so if you are like me you have repeated this process over and over, even though you went to a good school, graduated with honors, had multiple unpaid internships during college (aka the new form of slave labor), and have wonderful references, but are settling for yet another internship (paid this time, thank god) after months of job searching. Fingers crossed I will be one of the chosen ones to land a full time gig after this internship (if not, the McDonald’s arches really compliment my eyes).

P.S. If you have the power to hire me, check out my LinkedIn.

Back Sass: Shoemint.com

Tsk, tsk, tsk, it’s always such a shame when a great product or service has a catch (such is life, gotta read the fine print). Shoemint.com has me a little extra sassy (in the bad way) these days and heres why:

First let me set up the situation. I will say I love the website. It was easy to join (I just signed in through Facebook) and they have a great product that is reasonably priced. BONUS, they send you coupons in your email, like all the time, and stuff is constantly being put on sale (love me a deal). I am usually an online window shopper because I have an incessant need to try before I buy. But when I fell in love with a pair of flats, I busted out my new member 50% off and bought those suckers (free shipping both ways! it was a win-win, even if I needed to return them). They shipped to my house within the week, fit great, and are absolutely adorable (YAY).

The problem came a few weeks after my purchase. I was checking my credit card statement and all of a sudden I see a charge of $79.98 from Shoemint.com (Oh hell no!). I had only purchased the one pair, which I had already paid off, and had gone back to my window shopping ways. What I came to learn is that I was now a “Preferred Customer” (because they had my credit card info from my first purchase) and at the beginning of each month they would “credit” my account for a full price pair of shoes. In essence, the money was already spent, so they force you into picking out a cute pair of pumps. I was infuriated. Apparently, your only way out of this situation is to opt out of the credit within the first 5 days of the month (I had been oblivious to this process, so it was the middle of the month before I noticed the charge on my card). Luckily, I checked the website and they do a one time refund if you forget to opt out, which I’m sure nearly everyone uses that first month. So, I called and got a refund (thank god the lady didn’t give me grief or I would have gone a little ape shit). The money has yet to magically reappear in my account.

What upset me most is the lack of visibility of this policy. Apparently, it is somewhere on the check out page when you buy your first item, but seriously, I was excited about new shoes, not looking for ways they were gonna screw me in the future. Also, it’s kinda shitty to take advantage of having someone’s credit card info. Plus, at least two other people I know have experienced the same thing, so it’s not like I’m an idiot and can’t read.

MORAL OF THE STORY: I am not saying to avoid Shoemint entirely (like I said great product, reasonable prices, great sales/coupons). But learn from my mistake! As soon as you purchase a pair of shoes BEWARE! You will be charged $79.98 every month if you do not opt out within the first 5 days of said month. They only refund you ONCE. But it’s better not to go through the hassle of obtaining a refund (or bouncing checks because your money magically vanishes thanks to the Shoemint fairy). I have now set a monthly reminder in my phone to opt out, I suggest you do as well. I will say if I have any more difficulty with this website (or don’t get my refund back ASAP) I will just cancel my membership, there are no shortage of places to buy awesome shoes.