Suggestions for Surviving Winter Weather

grumpy penguin

Well, it’s March and where I live it’s still freezing, snowing, and down right miserable. All of you lucky bastards in places where it never gets cold need not waste your time reading. For all the climately challenged, if you are like me, winter is a tad torturous and you would prefer to make like a bear and hibernate until it’s over. As good as a four month nap sounds, it would kind of interfere with, you know, life. But, as the winter weather continues to drag on, and the lust for warmer weather can’t be quelled, here are a few suggestions for fending off the stir craziness (or just crazy ways to pass the time until it is bearable to step outside again):

1. Buy a heated mattress pad

My heated mattress pad has basically been my savior this winter. Instead of slipping into a glorified slab of ice at night, your bed is preheated to tropical temperatures. On those days when getting out of bed is just not an option, crank that baby up, close your eyes, and try really hard to pretend you are laying in the hot sand somewhere fabulous.

2. Make the most of the sun

On those rare sunny winter days (what a tease), rouse up your inner child and play pretend. Grab your sunglasses and hop in the car for a make believe summer drive. Although it might be unbearable to put your windows down, turn your heat up full blast for a faux wind-in-the-hair effect. It’ll be just like summer because you’ll be sweating in no time.

3. Indulge in summer cocktails

Nothing screams warm weather like a frozen margarita (or daiquiri or pina colada). So invite some friends over, (since festively drinking alone is no way to cure SAD, seasonal affective disorder for the acronym impaired) plug in your blender and go to town. A few sex on the beach cocktails have been known to take the chill off.

When all else fails, face the facts and buy a parka. These walking sleeping bags are your best option to defend against all winter related weather. Buck up and bundle up, but don’t stop praying to mother nature for imminent reprieve from this icy hell.